The most well thought out plans are still basically water in a bucket with a hole in the bottom. Sometimes the hole is big, sometimes small but inevitably parts of the plan starts to slip through. You may be able to patch the hole and continue on. Sometimes you’ve lost so much of the original plan, you can hardly recognize it. I ramble to say this; We plan and God laughs.
As I write this, I’m on my way back from a road trip with 2 rambunctious (read:crazy) kids and a husband that recently ditched his colon (read: we have to stop every 1.4 miles for a bathroom). At some point we thought it was a brilliant idea to travel 11 states in 10 days to see every family member we have ever had in one fell swoop. And no I’m not driving and blogging.
I always get teary eyed when I go “home”. I wrote about that here: http://wp.me/p7rGXX-8B
As I was visiting family in Louisiana, I got word that a dear family friend passed away unexpectedly. She was one of those women that I want to be when I grow up. You can’t NOT be drawn to her and her infectious smile and her love for others, her family, her God. I find myself wondering how this could happen. WHY this happens. I can only take peace from the fact that we are not the ones in control.
Now on to the picture…. We passed it on the way to the wake.She’s a beaut isn’t she? A real classy place. A place where dreams come true. The place I met my husband almost 17 years ago. Only one of those previous statements is true. It’s not called the same thing, it’s slightly run down (I wish I could say it was drastically run down but….), and it’s much more disgusting in the daytime, but otherwise, not much has changed. I don’t think this is how little girls dreams play out. Nonetheless, it’s where my love story starts, I’ll wait for the judgement and laughter to subside. (Along with my embarrassment.)
I took my kids to the house on the lake that I lived in as a child. I told the stories of how I broke my arm, learned how to ride a bike, swam in a swampy, snake infested lake right where we stood. I kept thinking, I never imagined I would bring my own kids back to this very spot. I started thinking what my life would have been like had I never moved from that tiny town.
We laughed at old, family stories. Some I’d heard a hundred times but were still just as funny. We visited my father in laws grave, with my curious children in tow. I asked my husband how he felt having his family visit his dad, in the only way available this side of heaven. Needless to say, by the time we got to Dallas, I was a wreck. We were a couple of miles from our first house we bought together when he got out of the Army. It was supposed to be our forever home. The one we brought the boys home from the hospital. It’s also where I planned every detail of my future out.
So there we were, at Uncle Julio’s to get our fix of good Mexican food because Virginia is amazing but has the worst Mexican food on the face of the planet. (Seriously, stick with seafood if you visit.) But it felt so familiar…well it was familiar. I missed my friends, being close to my family, I missed Texas. The tears fell. Yes, at the restaurant.
So Virginia is unmistakably where God has led us. I never would have guessed that a country girl would marry an Army man and live in Dallas. I never knew I would follow said man to the ends of the earth. I never imagined I would struggle with pregnancy loss, or have a child with autism, and I would have PROMISED you I wouldn’t be one of those Moms that homeschool. I definitely never thought I would live, and be happy, in Virginia. Not because it’s not perfect, but because it was never in my plan. When I get a glimpse of the big world outside my tiny plans, I get excited and feel like I’m going to throw up all at the same time. I get asked often if we are in Virginia to stay. I could definitely live there and be happy. But my plans tend to sway towards being a bucket with the big hole in the bottom. So for now, I’ll try to push the nostalgia aside, and enjoy the ride. My super classy Wild Ride…